People thayt follow my blog know that i like to bitch about thew weather, well for once i won’t be bitching recently i have been happy with the warmer tempatures. maybe its due to global warming or some weird chinese weather modification but i’m happy, because this time last year every night i was freezing my balls off and had the heater cranked up trying to stay alive.

those of you that live in Suzhou know that Suzhou has the shitty cold humid weather that seeps into your bones and keeps your hands and feet permenantly frozen will be glad about this recent heat wave also

i think i might just have to get back onto that bike again

anyone up for a ride?

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well everyone looks like the weather has taken a turn for the worse its now freezing cold and raining and winter has barely started. on top of all that i’m sick again i have been hacking up a lung and a half everyday. winter in suzhou has to be the only place worse than for a real canadian winter. this wet drippy cold i can’t stand it chills you to the bone. high humidity and cold weather should never mix and of course suzhou’s lack of central heating makes it even worse. in canada you come in from the -20C weather and the house is +20C so you warm up quickly and can even take off your jacket and sweater and walk around in a t-shirt and shorts. in suzhou you come in from the 0C weather and its 0C inside your house too so you can’t warm up. the only way you can warm up is if you turn on the aircon or if you use a portable heater. but the problem with this is that it only heats up one room and the second you open the door to go into the other room all the heat is lost. also leaving the aircon on for 24hours a day is way too expensive. in the middle of winter you have to have the aircon on in the bedroom at night otherwise you will freeze to death, or atleast have a real goose down quilt. in the winter i dread the trip to the bathroom because you go from your relativily warm bedroom to the fucking freezing bathroom. the only remotely comparable experience i have ever had is trying to piss in a blizzard while i was skiing in canada.

now i will share the best secret with you. for men i recommend having a bucket right next to the bed if the need strikes you in the middle of the night and you really have to go. just poke your little guy out of the quilt lift up the bucket and fire away. girls you still have to get out of bed to use the bucket but its better than going to the bathroom.

p.s. remember to empty the bucket everyday and never piss into an empty juice bottle because in the groggy morning you might mistake it for apple juice.

its good to be a guy

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sorry for not posting in so long life has been too busy the last little while. but during this post i feel like ranting so thats what i’m gonna do

ok Girls i know Hello Kitty, Mickey Mouse and all those other cartoons are very cute and they make you feel happy and young. and thats great i don’t mind that at all, your more than welcome to have some dolls or even a t’shirt or hat with one of those characters on it. but where they don’t belong is on your ass, your not 3 fucking years old. everyday when i’m walking i see someone who has a hello kitty or mickey mouse patch covering most of their ass on their jeans. do you wake up in the morning and say “i wonder what would make my figure look the best?”" should i wear my jeans with a nice fit and nicely cut pockets at the back, or should i wear my jeans that have a nice fit with a big picture of Goofy’s face on my ass?” “hmmm tough choice

here are some simple reasons

1) you look stupid

2) its not flattering

3) nicely shaped jeans and pockets can improve your figure, mickey mouse can not

4) your not a child

5) you will probably not get hired for a real job if you wear those to the interview

6) you will never attract a man with an IQ of more than 50

7) everybody is laughing at your behind your back

makes your ass look flat and lumpy

9) i want to kick the picture, that means i will probably kick your ass

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I got a phonecall this morning from my school asking me why i wasn’t at work yet, my answer its saturday the school should be closed on a saturday. but that was not good enough for the school because they said because of the national holiday we need to work the weekend before because its not October 1st yet. i figure they also want me to return to work on the 8th which is next sunday because the holiday is over after 7 days and God forbid they let us have 8 days holiday. i guess i should probably just play it stupid and forget to come until they phone me

well i guess that all makes sense, NOT!. what i don’t understand is why schools have continue on the weekend but most companies don’t. it should be the other way around, or we could make it even better and have both cancelled for the weekend

i figure working extra days to make up for the days we get off must be some sort of fucked up  joke in the chinese communist calender thats dictates whatever you can do.

anyway i’m just glad the holiday is coming i sure can use it

have a nice holiday everyone

Posted in Bitching, Work, My life No Comments »

This sucks ass yesterday i had the day off work but i couldn’t do anything because it was raining. Now today i wake up in the morning and its still raining. from what i can tell it has been raining for about 24 hours straight. hat i really want to know is where is this raining coming from. if you look up into the sky you can see that the clouds are completely white. i have never seen a days rain come from white clouds before.

a word of advice if you are living in suzhou don’t look up into the sky when its raining without goggles because the rain has so many chemicals and so much acid in it that your eyes will feel like they are burning. china is the only place i have been that if you go walking in the rain you will become smelly and dirty. and if you wash your clothes and hang them outside to dry and it rains all your white clothes will turn yellow.

don’t get the wrong idea about me. i love china i just hate the fucking rain

today at work i think i will have the students chat “RAIN RAIN GO AWAY ” for a few hours maybe then the demonic forces in change of Suzhou’s rain will listen. Or it could be that the rain in Suzhou is regulated by the chinese government so i might have to go bribe some officals to get it to stop. so please anyone who would like to donate some money to help bribe the officals in charge of rain please leave me a message and i will give you my account information

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