Sloppy seconds that is.

A few days ago I arrived at my private class early so I decided to go buy a drink in case I get thirsty while I’m teaching so I walk into the shopping area near the apartment. And I see this reasonably nice car pull up. The door opened and out stepped this girl who looked like she just stepped out of the pages of Penthouse Asia.

This girl was stunning she was tall and slim wearing a short skirt and a super tight top which showed off her more than ample chest. I stopped and stared for a moment then she took out her phone and made a call. So I wiped the drool off my mouth and went to the shop because I couldn’t allow myself to get distracted for any longer.

I went into the shop and bought myself a drink. On the way out I ran into on of my students mothers so we chatted for a moment. But then I had to hurry off to my class. I had lucky timing because the girl was still there just standing around so I had another chance to stare. When suddenly a black Audi with government tags pulled up and the girl climbed in. I almost burst out laughing when I realized the government official was gonna receive sloppy seconds.

As they drove away, I wondered how many of the exclusive mistresses the government keeps are actually truly exclusive.

I know some Chinese men especially the older and richer hate to use condoms so I guess the guys are gonna have to stop being fools and start wrapping their tools. Because that sweet piece of meat, is no longer a yours only treat

Posted in China General, Sex, Humor 2 Comments »

Can Chinese men get it up?

That’s the question of the day. I came to wondering this by taking a walk along one the streets in Suzhou and as I passed a pharmacy I saw a massive advertisement for Viagra. Advertising for Viagra is extremely common at pharmacies in Suzhou however this one was a little different on a neon cardboard sign attached to the upper edge of the Viagra Advertisement was Bold letters that proclaimed “A Great Gift For Your Friends” I don’t know about in your home country but in Canada there is no way anyone would even tell their friends they needed Viagra. I can’t even imagine this conversation

Mike: Hey Dave your wife told me your having some issues with getting the little guy up

Dave: Yeah It doesn’t matter how much I turkey choke him he just won’t firm up he flops over in seconds

Mike: Really that’s awful

Dave: Tell me about it

Mike: By the way Happy Birthday here a little something for you

Dave: WOW! Thanks Mike this Viagra is just what I needed

Mike: No problem

Dave: I don’t know how I can repay you, you’ve saved my marriage

Mike: Don’t worry about it. My birthday is coming up next week just get me a case of those little blue magic pills also.

Does that conversation sound realistic? I should think not. I think if you question most foreign men about their impotence they would probably beat you half to death

However my curiosity was forcing me to investigate so I went inside the pharmacy and asked the 2 woman working there if the Viagra was a popular item to buy and they told me it was extremely popular I asked them if they got a lot of grandpa’s popping in to stock up on the stuff. When I said this they burst out laughing I was intrigued why this would make them laugh because back home Viagra was grandpa’s wish come true and grandma’s nightmares come to life

So I had to ask who was the main consumer which they quickly pointed out was men in their 20’s or 30’s which struck me as surprise because I figured men in their 20’s and 30’s would have the least trouble getting it up. They said that they rarely have old men come in and buy it however occasionally some woman who look “kept” come in and pick some up which they are presumably bringing home to their sugar daddy

It was these facts that brought me to the questions of “Can Chinese men get it up” which I hope any Chinese men reading this will be able to comment or any Chinese woman who might experienced this at the receiving end can add in their 2 cents

Posted in Sex, Humor 15 Comments »

I know you always hear that chinese girls are among the most beautiful woman in world, and i guess this is true to an point. the reason for that thinking is that they never show girls from the farms or one of the female labourers in any hollywood movie. So after reading hectors article “cute by default” talking about the farm girls in the SND it got me thinking why are some girls so beautiful and others soooooo fugly.

i came up with 3 good reasons

1st: everyone knows that china is becoming more and more competitive in the sports world. i think the main reason for this is selective breeding. judging by the size of the arms and thighs on some of the girls you see on the bus and walking around in the market you know that their family has been selected to breed girls to compete in the shotput, hammerthrow, weightlifting and wrestling events. i am scared of this type of girl. this is the type of girl that would flip your car if you ever honked your horn at her.

2nd: fake baby formula and overuse of IV’s causes extremely high testosterone levels. when you are on the bus next time i suggest you look at the arms of a fugly chinese girl, you will notice that they have more hair on their arms than most chinese men. last week on the bus i saw a woman wearing an openback shirt, she had more hair on her shoulders and arms than a silverback gorilla. i don’t know why the testosterone causes the chinese woman to become hairy and the chinese men have none. but i think china should investigate

3rd: some chinese girls are very beautiful because……………..

ok i don’t know. but i’m glad they are

Posted in Sex, Humor, Suzhou, My life No Comments »