Crime and punishment my style

Over the next few weeks I will be coming up with some new punishments for perpetrators of crimes that are being committed in china. Keep in mind these are my personal opinion I think its very unlikely that China’s government will ever accept them because some of them might be considered inhumane, cruel and unusual.

Fake DVD producers:

There are two different sides to this punishment if they are releasing the high quality DVD’s with correct subtitles and high quality picture then we let them off with a warning and then secretly give them a bonus because I know we all love those DVD’s

If the DVD producer is producing low quality shit which has wrong subtitles and the picture quality is pure webshit. We burn down their factory and steal their bank account and invest their money in a good DVD producers company

And in the special case of movies where some parts of the movie are dubbed in Chinese and other parts are in English such as my copy of “the DaVinci code” we make them shove their dick into the DVD press then burn down the factory.

Bike thieves:

I know we all hate these fuckers, and I think most of us have been burned by them at least one time. When they are caught we don’t send them to the police station we send them to Hek because he has had 7 bikes stolen he has some great things planned for them. By the time he’s done with them, they will walk around fixing bikes for free.

Tourist rip-off shops”

Every one that comes to china meets these people trying to sell you Chinese silk fans for 150yuan when you can buy them in the proper market for under 10yuan. Shop owners that rip off foreigners to this extreme will be taken to a public place and flogged, 1 strike for every 100% increase in price. In the case of the fan people their fans are 1500% higher than the market so they will be flogged 15 times

Hello Hello KTV miss massage Drink people

These assholes are so annoying you can’t go anywhere after 7:30 pm without running into a handful of these people trying to get you to follow them to some locations where their friends will then rob you. They will follow you the whole way down the street trying to convince you to go with them. their punishment will be, they will be stripped naked and covered in tar and feathers then have their photo put on public television/ internet with their name, ID number, and home /mobile phone number. public humiliation to the extreme

Posted in Humor