Merits of a Murse

The “Murse” also known as a man purse, or man bag is very common among the young accidentally rich men of China though some older men are known to carry them. The murse was originated in Europe and has gained some popularity around the world particularity among men that carry a mobile phone, Blackberry, camera and other business essentials though they are mostly murses that have a longer strap so that they hang around your hips similar to a messengers bag.

In China the most common type of murse is more similar to a ladies evening bag than a normal purse and is tucked under the arm and touted around everywhere they go. The typical carrier wears a ugly ass shirt with a checkered or diamond pattern, black dress pants, black dress shoes, and white socks.

The Chinese men carrying murses are always ridiculed by foreigners on their blogs. I am also one of the men who usually ridicule them, but today I’ve decided to actually examine the murse in detail to see if there are any real advantages to carrying one. I will point out as many advantages and disadvantages as I can.

Below is a common murse you can find in China i found the image on the Louis Vuitton webpage. This particular modal looks better than 95% of the ones you will see in China. The most common LV murse you see in China I was unable to find on the internet so i don’t know where they are buying them from. The prick lawyer at my work paid 4000 for a murse by LV which doesn’t seem to exist online, looks like someone overpaid on a fake.

I will start by stating some advantages for men in China to carry a murse

1. It can hold multiple items such as your cellphone, cigarettes (for guanxi),money (for bribes), business cards, condoms (never gonna be used), fake Mont Blanc pen, wedding ring (keep it out of sight), keys, PDA, Chinese cologne (stinks like a motherfucker usually a similar scent to lysol).
2. Harder to misplace than a cellphone or wallet by itself.
3. Due to its high price it can give you higher status in your peers eyes especially if your murse is more expensive than their murse.
4. Keeps you organized in a disorganized country.
5. Could possibly be fashionable if you don’t wear white socks with black pants and black shoes and bought a new shirt.

Now some disadvantages.

1. YOU LOOK LIKE A TWAT
2. Having something tucked under your arm with nothing securing it in place is very easy to steal someone will run by and grab it and there is nothing you could do to stop them especially if your smoking at the same time. Its a mugging target
3. If you lose it your fucked because everything important is lost
4. If its a hot day your sweat from your pits will damage the over priced leather or give it a nasty smell
5. 1000-30,000 RMB for a feminine looking bag to hold your stuff VS 2 RMB for a zip lock bag which has the same functions, you can’t beat the savings.
6. Can’t dance and hold a murse at the same time, well you could do the Chinese”I Have a Tail” of the “Look At My Tail” Dance more on that another time
7. Mosts murses in China are very feminine. They’re way passed the line for metrosexual fashion straight into homosexual fashion. If you going for the metrosexual look you need more than a murse, you need a complete wardrobe change including black socks, real cologne, changing your shirt at least once a week, and wash your hair sometime this year
8. If your walking with a masculine man and you are carrying a murse you look like his little bitch
9. If you and your friend both carry murse’s then all the foreigners that see you will wonder which of you is the “catcher“

That concludes my comparison if you have any other advantages or disadvantages you know of please feel free to add them to the comments.

And if anyone ever sees me walking around touting one of those fugly murses please beat some fucking sense into me. I have only seen one foreigner with a murse tucked under his arm in China and I hope never to see another. though I will admit the murses with a long strap similar to a messenger bag are not too bad and convenient but there is no reason to every have a little one tucked under your arm

A point of interest is I thought I was the first to use the term “murse” to describe the man purse but i found out someone at urban dictionary had coined it before me. That fucker!!!

Posted in Fashion, Rants, Humor