Cold Wet Grumpy

well everyone looks like the weather has taken a turn for the worse its now freezing cold and raining and winter has barely started. on top of all that i’m sick again i have been hacking up a lung and a half everyday. winter in suzhou has to be the only place worse than for a real canadian winter. this wet drippy cold i can’t stand it chills you to the bone. high humidity and cold weather should never mix and of course suzhou’s lack of central heating makes it even worse. in canada you come in from the -20C weather and the house is +20C so you warm up quickly and can even take off your jacket and sweater and walk around in a t-shirt and shorts. in suzhou you come in from the 0C weather and its 0C inside your house too so you can’t warm up. the only way you can warm up is if you turn on the aircon or if you use a portable heater. but the problem with this is that it only heats up one room and the second you open the door to go into the other room all the heat is lost. also leaving the aircon on for 24hours a day is way too expensive. in the middle of winter you have to have the aircon on in the bedroom at night otherwise you will freeze to death, or atleast have a real goose down quilt. in the winter i dread the trip to the bathroom because you go from your relativily warm bedroom to the fucking freezing bathroom. the only remotely comparable experience i have ever had is trying to piss in a blizzard while i was skiing in canada.

now i will share the best secret with you. for men i recommend having a bucket right next to the bed if the need strikes you in the middle of the night and you really have to go. just poke your little guy out of the quilt lift up the bucket and fire away. girls you still have to get out of bed to use the bucket but its better than going to the bathroom.

p.s. remember to empty the bucket everyday and never piss into an empty juice bottle because in the groggy morning you might mistake it for apple juice.

its good to be a guy

Posted in Bitching, Humor, Suzhou, My life