Suzhou vs The Middle Ages Round 2

Welcome back to Suzhou vs The Middle Ages part 2

point 1

Europe: there were beggers everywhere and they were often maimed and crippled from the war and different diseases that caused certain parts of their body to rot off

Suzhou: there are beggers everywhere most of them ordinary people disguised as beggers because they can make a more money being a begger than with an honest job. but there are real beggers that have been maimed by different events such as work accidents, greedy parents, bum fights. many beggers cake their face and skin with different kinds of muck that makes them look like they are rotting away so they can get more pity money. i give them soap

point 2

Europe: there were many pickpockets or cutpurses expecially during Fairs or Carnivals. they would steal your purse with great stealth and skill.

Suzhou: there are many pickpockets and cutpurses around the large shopping districts such as Guan Qian Jie and Shi Lu. they will steal your purse, phone, wallet, pants, bike, hat, leg, arm all with incredible stealth whatever they can get their hands on. according to the local chinese there are no chinese pickpockets all the thiefs are from the XinJiang Province which is the Muslim minority in china.

hmmm interesting relation there looks like worldwide whenever anything bad happens everyone says it must be the Muslims fault. i just noticed that the cheese in my fridge has gone bad i wonder if i can blame the Muslims then maybe the Bush administration will do a full scale invasion of my fridge cleaning it spotless to remove all traces of terrorist using mold

point 3

Europe: when you are riding your horse along the road suddenly a group of men armed with knifes will jump out and steal all your money. OMG its the bandits!!!!

Suzhou:  when you are driving your car along the road suddenly a group of men armed with sticks and whistles will jump out in front of you and tell you to pull your car over to the curb, when you do they will steal all your money for the stupidest reasons such as your tie does not match your cars paint color (600RMB) fine for that. OMG its the police

point 4

Europe: Law? there was law?

Suzhou: Law? there is law? there are lots of rules but i’m still looking for the law

point 5

Europe: Whores from what i have learned in books and from movies it seems like the fallen ladies were everywhere in pubs, whore houses, castles, stables, hell even walking on the street all of them complete with enough diseases to shrivel your nuts into non-existence

Suzhou: the KTV’s have got more girls working inside than the communist party has members.

Posted in Humor, Suzhou